Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
