No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
