I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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