Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
