kristin has been a bad kristin
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
