Pants 0. Shit 1.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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