my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Found your dick twin last night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize