Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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