rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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