we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
