I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
