ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PANTIES FOUND
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