I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
