I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
