My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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