So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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