I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
a search helicopter?!
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
