I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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