I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
