My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
