I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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