I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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