I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize