? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
two words: eviction party
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
