I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize