And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
