sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
