there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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