Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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