Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
