he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Still dying that you shit outside
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
