about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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