there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize