Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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