I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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