I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
