i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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