You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
