Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
