She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize