i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
