Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize