erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
