I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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