Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
