You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
