I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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