dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
