You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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