shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
