Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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