yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize