I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
