I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize