Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the liver wants what the liver wants
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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