it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
