Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
