dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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