i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
