it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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