I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
