i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
