this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize