I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
